it snowed today in nyc, just for a second and it was debatable whether it was snow or rain. I have mixed feelings about it.

So i was tricked into having a root canal the other day. I thought I was going for a cleaning because my tooth was infected. Apparently a cleaning of the root of your tooth is a root canal. Seems logical now. it wasn’t nearly as dramatic and painful as I thought it would be, despite the two teenage boys who stood over and watched, talking about sports and high school, pretending to be dental assistants. Nothing like getting your teeth scraped with a bunch of people watching.

They’re filming for a TV show today called “Bored to Death” on my block. Right in front of my house! It’s a show with Jason Schwartzman on HBO.

imdb results

Despite being swamped with work as of late, I’m a little short on cash (too much work makes for not enough time to invoice and harass people for money, not a good combination). So when I got a call during the tail-end of my work day as an office drone to moonlight as a server at a bar/coffeeshop I frequent, i took on the opportunity. Slinging drinks was once a big part of my life and while I have no desire to be there again, it’s sometimes fun to feel the mindless rush of waiting tables.

Well, this night was sure to be eventful seeing as I had already worked a full day and wouldn’t get out until 5am. Almost 24 hours straight of working. The crazies always come out at night and this night was no exception. (see this post for examples of the late night crazies.) The night started out super slow and came to a dead halt around 12am with not a soul in the coffee shop. There is a pub crawl that comes through every Tuesday so we were all gearing up for the indunation of drunk tourists. One gentleman had been there with a very well endowed lady (tits popping out EVERYWHERE would be a better description but it’s NYC, the standards are different). He ran up a moderate tab, paid cash leaving up 10% which of course annoyed us, but whatever. Comes back 10 minutes later and asks for his change. Bastard. So no tip, not a CENT. He left but hung out in the neighborhood to hit up the local drug dealers and further his substance abuse. When he wanders back, totally drunk and stoned and whatever else, he begins to hit on me.

Because yes, cheap ass drunks are totally my type.

I ignore his advances mostly, redirecting the conversation when I sense he’s going to ask me for personal information. Of course, he doesn’t sense my distaste of CAD (cheap ass drunks, reference above) and keeps trying. Eventually he corners me and asks, “So what does a guy have to do to get a date with you?” At this point, I’m annoyed and decide to give him the truth.

“I’ll go out with you if you can answer one question for me,” I respond. “Why don’t you tip your servers and bartenders?”

The CAD just laughs, tells me he had a rough day, as if that was reason enough to ruin mine and take money from my pocket. Even this does not dissuade him from trying to kiss me goodnight and giving me his phone number at the end of the night.

Soon after, the drunk Europeans from the pub crawl rush in like a hurricane. Something about drinking and vacation has always been a bad combination. The whole back section of the restaurant (which by the way is very tiny and not at all private) was filled with tourists making out. Eventually they cleared out and I assumed they left. Find out 20 minutes later, no they haven’t left. They’ve all relocated to the bathrooms. (which are also super mini.)

Also had a 10 minute conversation with an Ecuadorian, totally in Spanish. I always enjoy the opportunity to practice my Spanish and you think I would learn to be more careful, that speaking someone’s native tongue to them is really really hot. (I never learn.) Guess I made a friend because he wouldn’t leave, kept asking me where I lived and when i finished. Lucky the manager kicked him out and I was able to get a friend to walk me home.

What else….oh yah! Some Moroccans walked out on a huge tab after arguing about how “the owner told me he’d be sending out some dishes for us!” a few more zero tippers (they should all be casterized). a few more unwanted advances. Blah blah, all in a day’s work.